Seeking What Has Already Been Found
About a year ago, I purchased an online leadership development course. I liked the trainer and resonated with most of the essays and QA she posted on LinkedIn and FB.
I haven't completed the course yet. Why? Because I already know what is in the lessons, I get bored quickly every time I start on a lesson plan. I didn't realize that it was beginner information, and I already have a master's degree in Organizational Leadership Development and many years of life coaching experience. So, why did I purchase it?
At the time, I was in a difficult place in my career (looking for work – again), and I doubted my ability and the wisdom I needed to go bigger. Looking at my career progression, I haven't had much success with my leadership development. So, I continue to look for validation outside myself. I think someone else knows better than I do what goes on inside of me for some reason. You see, I believe that leadership comes from within. It comes from a sense of interconnectedness with others. It's knowing where others are experiencing difficulties and helping them to see those "difficulties" as possibilities, then showing them the way.
When I was younger, I had a fantastic mentor. Once I left that job, our relationship slowly fizzled out until she was no longer a leadership flame in my life. I've tried to find other mentors with no lasting success. I also realize I'm not alone in that - many of us seek things outside of ourselves. When I stop and meditate on the uncertainty of my current jobless situation, I realize that what I continue to seek has already been found. It rests within me. It's knowing that regardless of how many fastballs life throws at me, I can catch it instead of being hit by it. That doesn't mean that I don't drop the ball sometimes. However, I'm not afraid to pick it up and pass it along or get coached on making a better play next time.
So, the next time temptation to purchase another personal growth course appears, I'll be sure to take a few deep breaths and re-center my thoughts, knowing that I already have everything that I am searching for within me.
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