Mindfulness Practice

Finding

the

REAL You

If you have been setting goals, implementing strategies, and adjusting your course of action repeatedly, and success continues to elude you, it's not because you are doing anything "wrong"; it has more to do with not embracing or even recognizing your true self. For many of us whom we think we are can be a problem. Identification with terms such as mother, sister, wife, teacher, doctor, and student carries a set of rules. These rules limit or stifle our creativity and dictate how to act, talk, dress, and communicate with others. But these labels or titles are not WHO YOU ARE. You are not even the thoughts you think about yourself. Who you are is much deeper than that.

For most of my life, I tried to be what I thought I needed to be successful, and I struggled to get it right. And when things didn't happen how I thought they would, I'd beat myself up—or blame you. The harder I tried, the deeper my discontent and unhappiness became. I knew something was wrong, but I kept doing things the same way because it was all I knew. However, I wanted to stop the insanity before it stopped me.

The process I went through wasn't easy, and it took some time, mostly because I resisted changing. Initially, it was overwhelming. Nevertheless, I was determined, and I wanted to be happy. So, I started practicing mindfulness meditation since it was my next logical step in addition to my yoga practice. I didn't know what I was doing, but I read books and talked to other practitioners. Eventually, I developed a different relationship with my thoughts—all of them, even the uncomfortable ones I used to close the door on. I learned that I couldn't stop thoughts from occurring; however, I did create a healthier relationship with them.

Once I stopped the harmful self-talk, things began to change. Especially since we are in a 24-7 relationship with ourselves - our SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Developing a better relationship with the one person I was with daily was the only place I found happiness, joy, and long-lasting success.

Through the practice of mindfulness meditation, I slowly began to unravel all thoughts that had me repeating the same pattern(s) — the conditioned response to situations in life we have developed since childhood. I began to see them for what they were, just thoughts. Once I realized it was just a thought, I stopped judging what I was doing and who I thought I was. It helped me recognize authentic alternative actions I could take, and eventually, I developed a solid state of being.

Research studies show that with as little as ten minutes a day of meditation, after eight weeks, the amygdala (our fight-flight center) shrinks, and the pre-frontal cortex thickens, which improves concentration and decision-making. Doing a mindfulness meditation every day is a little less daunting if you can achieve results like these in only ten minutes a day!

Of course, the question then is this: How willing are you to do whatever it takes to improve the relationship with your SIGNIFICANT OTHER?