Between the Then and Now

Somewhere along the way I fell asleep and had a dream.  In this dream I was trying to create a life of purpose-filled work and financial prosperity, which took place back home in Hawai’i on the island of Oahu (I know, not a bad place for a dream) and lasted for almost 4 years.  I was teaching part-time at a college, co-hosting a monthly TV show, working with homeless youth on the street all while deepening my spiritual practice. Throughout the dream I experienced a great deal of suffering and didn’t understand why things were not manifesting the way that I thought it should.  I began to realize that this dream was no different from all of the other dreams I have had: the wonderful childhood, the white picket fence and happily ever after, the amazing job and fabulous co-workers; these dreams and many others turned dark and appeared menacing.  Disappointment, frustration and anger set in.  Demons appeared, the golden goose laid no eggs, and the pearly gates were closed to me.  I pushed and demanded to be let in.  I set goals and added tasks. I joined support groups and read how-to books and still IT continued to be out of reach to me.

Like Alice I was lost. I had fallen down the rabbit hole.

To be continued…