Feeding My Soul
- sacredspace808
- 5 days ago
- 2 min read
The weather here in Lincoln, Nebraska has been quite warm. It was 58 degrees yesterday! I loved it, and it keeps me active. Riding a bike feeds my soul. Dancing and karaoke also feed my soul, but without a car it’s become a bit of a challenge.
Therefore, I ride as often as possible. But as I’ve gotten older, and my body has started complaining more. Besides aging, I stopped taking care myself.
I have always been an extremely active person. Running, going to the gym, swimming, biking, dancing. It was as if I was born programmed to live an active, healthy lifestyle. But at some point, I began saying to myself or I started listening to the voice in my head that said, “why bother”. Although, this thought didn’t just materialize overnight - it slowly snuck in.
What happened? What changed?
I have encountered trauma during both my childhood and adult years, along with several unfriendly and unsafe work settings. I completely recognize that I chose to stay in many of these situations for extended periods. Some of these decisions were misguided. As a result, I developed PTSD, which I have learned to recognize and manage to prevent it from overpowering me and impacting my mental health.
For many years, I frequently felt unsafe around certain men. I attempted dating, but had to quit because I experienced anxiety attacks before, during, and after.
As a result, how I felt about my physical appearance took a hit because I didn’t like the attention that I was getting. I didn’t feel safe. So, I stopped going to the gym, exercising, and eating healthy – not horribly but enough to get flabby and lose skin elasticity. (If you haven't heard about it before, I'm hear to tell you that if you build muscle and then stop exercising that muscle turns to ugly celluloid). But that's another story.
Anyway, I did keep dancing and riding my bike, which helps with the anxiety.
Lately, my youngest son has been mirroring what it looks like to be fit and healthy, and I have once again started to pay more attention to what I eat, and how I feel.
So, although clouds will be blocking the sun all day, and it may be a bit cool, I will get out of the apartment, feed my soul, and enjoy the feeling of freedom I get when riding the bike.
P.S. It started to rain when I was riding. Oh, well. I've been there before, and I've learned that I don't melt :-)
What feeds your soul and sets you free?
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